Dear BNP Paribas,
It sure would be great if you could hurry up and régulariser my compte and send me my PIN so that I can finally pick up my ATM card and checks so I can pay for stuff. I am getting a little harried by the constant fees cropping up in my Chase statement. My poor American checking account. I would really like to start dealing in the euros I've actually earned, instead of the incredibly weak dollars I spent the past many years saving...
Dear French Soy Milk,
Why do you taste so unpleasant, no matter what brand I buy? Please make a deal with Silk so France can enjoy good soy milk for once. Shame on you.
Dear Raspberry Jam,
You continue to be universally delicious. Keep doing what you're doing.
BNP Paribas: 0
French soy milk: 0
Raspberry jam: 1